When to Walk Away

If you are currently in a damaging and harmful family relationship, you have four options:

Take no action: Take no action which may further harm your emotional and physical health and well-being.
Confront the toxic family member: Confront the toxic family member or decide not to confront them for your own safety.
Emotionally detach: Maintaining healthy emotional detachment from harmful people requires letting go of them emotionally and staying safe. You can be in a relationship without disclosing private information about your life. Always remove toxic people from your inner circle. Never remain in an intimate relationship with a toxic person who is unwilling to change. (See chapter 4.)
Cut ties and walk away: Cut ties entirely and walk away from unhealthy family members.

The following are warning signs you may need to walk away from an unhealthy family member:

You feel insecure.
You feel unloved.
You feel unsafe.
You do not feel valued.
You do not trust the family member.
The family member is abusing you or is domestically violent. (Take immediate action if you are in an abusive or violent home.)
The family member blames you for everything wrong with the relationship.
The family member blames you for their weaknesses and problems.
The family member controls your finances or treats you like a servant.
The family member disrespects and violates your privacy.
The family member does not accept you unconditionally and points out all the ways you need to change.
The family member does not accept your authentic self or creates an environment where you are not free to be who you are.
The family member does not accept your sexual orientation or gender identity.
The family member has demonstrated their inability or unwillingness to change their harmful behavior.
The family member is gaslighting you by telling you your interpretation of what is happening is untrue or you are overreacting.
The family member isolates you from support systems such as family, friends, church, or employment.
The family member is manipulating and controlling you.
The family member is unreliable and keeps breaking promises in ways that hurt you.
The family member uses religion or Bible verses to shame, manipulate, control, or justify abuse and mistreatment.
The family member struggles with addiction in ways that harm you.